Posts Tagged ‘drugs’
I know my drugs. Don’t ask me how.
Monday, July 6th, 2009
I woke up congested. The kind of congested that makes you unrecognizable. This is probably because I thought it would be brilliant to leave my windows open overnight instead of using A/C. This is a great idea in, say, Iowa. Stupid idea when you’re 100 feet from the WTC site and about 11 other construction sites.
All day, my gay wanted to shop for cologne, of all things. I couldn’t stop sneezing. Finally, I convinced him he had to try the cologne at C.O Bigelow, that way I could get some pills from the pharmacy in the back.
Backstory: My parents met when they worked as pharmacists in a hospital. I was raised in a prescription-only pharmacy they later opened. I learned to count with a pill-counter, my real-world first word was Actifed, and I would make sugar pills for fun after school. So, I kind of know drugs and know what I want in my drugs.
I asked the C.O. Bigelow pharmacist all about each of the decongestants. I figured since the place was a little fancy, a little old-timey, they might carry some things that other drugstores wouldn’t. Some discontinued strong stuff. I asked if they had the original version of Sudafed, and how many milligrams of pseudoephedrine was in the other allergy-relief pills they carried. I drop a couple other cool words like “contraindicated” and “post-nasal.”
I thought I sounded, at worst, annoying. At best, well- informed. However, I slowly started to realize he thought I was a methhead. He was asking all the classic “Ask a methhead” questions, like what my symptoms were, if I had identification, what state I lived in, etc.
I really wanted to bust balls and play along. Start scratching and picking at my hair. Asking where the batteries were. But, methheads are sad, and not “Sad Panda sad,” so the softie in me won and I didn’t make funnies about drug addicts…this time.
Being that I’m not the edgiest person on Earth, though, it was a little fun knowing this guy thought I was committing a crime. For 3-4 minutes, someone thought I was a badass. I’ll take my thrills where I can get ‘em.
Meth stuff aka Central Florida Stocking Stuffers
Tags: drugs, kids and drugs, labs, meth, meth labs, methheads, nose, pharmacy, pills, Sudafed
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