Bonafide Moment
This weekend, I had a chance to meet one of my biggest pop star crushes. We’re talking a Write-Your-First-Name-and-His-Last-Initial crush. This, of course, is Jon B: Rhode Island’s soulful songbird that brought you such hits as “They Don’t Know,” “Are U Still Down.” While an amazing singer/songwriter, Mr. B was not known for, um, intricate videos. They were pretty basic. Jon B on a car. Jon B on a chair. Jon B in a hat. But one video stuck in mind because it tried to be complex, but only succeeded in making me laugh uncontrollably. I feel horrible for saying this, but it was just really bad. Even Jon B’s butt-cut hair and linen ensemble couldn’t convince this video is anything but a film-school disaster. Please watch and learn. (If you can’t watch the whole thing, at least watch from 4:30 to the end. It’s crucial to this story.)
\”Pretty Girl\” Jon B (The video can’t be embedded, but believe me, it’s worth the jump.)
Yes. The “Have You Seen My Sketches? Scene” HAS to be the WORST in music video history! Who would do this to my beautiful boy?! (I tried to track down the name of the director to blame, but I wasn’t able to. He has hidden himself in shame as he should.)
I walked away from watching this video with the same thought each time: If I ever meet Jon B, I absolutely MUST ask him, “Have you seen my sketches?” I knew if I ever did, it could be funny, or go horribly wrong. (Wrong like the actress was his girlfriend or best friend’s sister or something.) Either way, it had to be done.
And this weekend, it was put-up or shut-up time. There I was, mere feet away from the Jon the Don Juan himself, and it chance was drawing nigh. Lately, I’ve become a believer in the philosophy of “Why not?!” So, I went for it.
The following is the play-by-play:
Me: “There’s one thing I’ve been waiting my whole life to say to you.”
Jon B: [incredulously] “Yeah? What’s that?”
Me: [Deadpan. Monotone. Stupid expression. Just like the girl in the video…whose dialogue was DUBBED by the way] “Have you seen my sketches?”
Jon B looks at me confused, and then looks up, as if he was scrolling through the database of genius in his mind until he recognized the reference. Eureka!
Anything for a laugh..I'll even make this face
Jon B: “Yo! Haahaahaaha! That girl was wack yo! She was soo bad!”
Me: That could NOT have been the best take!
(Ok, maybe he was tipsy. That's STILL a laugh.)
Still sort of amused
Jon B: No, it was. It was so awful. Wack! I can’t believe you said that. Yo, you’re funny.”
Annnnnd Monet dies and goes to heaven.
As much as I appreciate someone thinking I’m ok to look at, I am MUCH more thrilled when someone laughs…or even listens when I say something. This was above and beyond.
In a way, making Jon B laugh was on my bucket list. Check.
An 18 year mission...accomplished.
