Melissa the Nail Tech
That’s my alter-ego. She’s a sweet girl. Unlike me, never sarcastic or cynical.Doesn’t make jokes, but will laugh at anything. She never acknowledges that someone’s being skeevy. You could say the most
foul thing to Melissa the Nail Tech, and she’d just reply, “You’re kind! Thank you!”
As you could probably tell from the name, Melissa the Nail Tech does nails for a living. Not ashamed of it, nor should she be. It’s an honest living and, frankly, Melissa is an artist. And when Melissa
senses that a conversation is going to a bad place, she starts talking incessantly about the different designs she’s done on fingers and how she can do the same on toes but needs to take more time because
toes are completely different from fingers.
Melissa the Nail Tech doesn’t know a lot of bands, but she likes all kinds of music. Like John Mayer, Dave Matthews, and rap, especially Flo-rida. Rap sounded the most awesome in her Mitsubishi Eclipse that she used to have. Her ex got her 10’s for her trunk for their 6 mo. anniversary.
When Melissa the Nail Tech was in college, Metropolitan Academy of Beauty, she got like really good grades. She scored the highest on the Advanced Cuticle Management exam, and still has the framed certificate for that.
She really wants to get married and have three kids, because three’s the perfect number. But she hopes it doesn’t make her fat. Whatever, she can get lipo and stuff because her husband’s gonna have a
good job, like selling insurance or something so they can afford to get her plastic surgery.
What made me think of my alter-ego Melissa? (Other than the fact that some days I wish I was anyone else but me?) I forgot I was Melissa recently, until someone said “Hi Melissa! How’ve you been?” to me on the train. I struggled to figure out why they’d say that, but then my little secret came to mind. Duh, Monet!
Sometimes you go out and act 100% opposite of how you really are!
Dont worry. I don’t have multiple personality disorder. I’m not bi-polar. Just bi-polar-curious.