Archive for the ‘People on the Train’ Category
That is Not a Compliment
Sunday, August 23rd, 2009
Over time, people have said things to me which they think are nice things to say, but are not. Perhaps these people suffer from a lack of perspective, or context, or vocabulary. In any event, they should know better. If they don’t, they should read this and any future posts about this topic (as I’m sure this will keep happening.)
Enjoy these initial examples. (Misery loves company.)
-”That was nice. Were you happy with that performance?” (after one of my band’s shows)
-”Your new hair looks a lot like Ashlee Simpson’s.” (That was today. The wound is still fresh.)
-”I’ve always preferred full-figured girls like you.”
-”That’s neat how you’re wearing that as a dress.”
-”Wow. That joke was, um, emotional. It kinda looked like you were gonna cry up there.”
-”I just love how your whole attitude toward life is, like, ‘I just don’t care.’ ”
*Also, anything preceded by “Don’t take this the wrong way, but…”
STOP saying things like this. They are not pleasant.
Just a friendly reminder from Miss Meaux, Manners Maven.
Say nicer things, please.
Tags: Ashlee Simpson, band, cry, dress, full-figured, hair, I care, I care a lot, I'm a Care Bear, it is a dress, laugh, not a shirt, shirt
Posted in Ex Life, For Reals, Life, People on the Train, Technique | No Comments »
Just Let Me Sit on It
Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
This morning, I just wanted a seat on the train. I had an almost Rosa Parks-like need to sit. I was just tired and wearing cute, uncomfortable shoes. Of course, though, there were no seats.
Well…no “official” seats. There was, however, an amazing lap. When I say “amazing,” I am NOT exaggerating. It was an enormous lap. I couldn’t stop staring at it. The guy was at least 7 feet tall and each of his thighs was twice the depth of the subway seat. He could seat 3 people on those things! I honestly could not stop staring at him. He was not sexy. He was not even attractive. He just looked really really comfortable.
When I got on the train, he looked at me for a second. He gave me the, “Hmm I have a seat and you don’t” nod that people do, and instantly fell asleep. At first, I thought, “Well, he’s big. Maybe those huge legs are a heavy burden on his hips, and they need a break.” As the ride went on, I could have burned holes into him with my eyes. I just kept getting more and more steamed. I mean, he’s asleep and not even using his lap! Maybe a little of it, for his bag. But there was like 75% of lap sitting there COMPLETELY UNUSED.
It was all I could do to not just sit there.
He was dead asleep. He wouldn’t have even felt it. But I resisted. Sitting on a stranger is probably immoral, if not illegal. So I stood there, staring angrily at him on the ride from Wall Street to Grand Central. Then during the walk all through Grand Central. And down 5 blocks of Lexington. It was like he was trying to rub his gigantic thighs in my face. (Ok, maybe not. That’s gross.) Regardless, I was so close to catching up to him and telling him that he should make his lap available if he’s going to take up 1.7subway seats.
But, I couldn’t keep up. My feet hurt from standing.
Tags: Bailout, big man, big man thiggs, Earth Day, feet, heels, lap, legs, sitting. sitting on strangers, sleeping big men, somali pirates, TARP, thighs
Posted in For Reals, People on the Train | 1 Comment »